How to start a new life after a divorce: 8 steps

The sadness of separation and separation is an integral part of a divorce. Yesterday you had fun, solved urgent problems together, were part of a whole. Today, the marriage has turned into a broken crystal vase, which you can’t collect by fragments. Each new day brings with it despair and sadness, a prolonged depression develops. It is important to get out of stupor in time to start life from scratch.

The most difficult aspect to overcome after a divorce is loneliness. The new life is significantly different from the previous one, you can no longer count on anyone, as a result of which the problems are covered with a head.

As practice shows, the most difficult days are holidays. In such moments, the feeling of loneliness is doubly enhanced, because more recently all joyful events you experienced with your partner.

Step number 1. Break the link

At this stage you need to think about yourself. You can not allow past life to influence events occurring in the present. Limit communication with your ex-husband for 6-12 months after the divorce, if possible, completely break the bond. No need to once again hear the pain of a native voice, to be interested in affairs, as before.

The best solutions for you is the complete lack of communication. Make it clear that you do not need further communication. If you stopped to call up on the phone, talk only about business. If the other person tries to translate the conversation in a different direction, refer to the urgent meeting.

Temporarily reduce communication with the company of mutual friends who constantly talk about the former spouse. “Your Peter went to the seashore” or “Seryoga found a new girlfriend with a third size”. You have no need to hear all these facts, they are completely useless.No need to reopen old wounds, "virtues" put in ignore. You can not quietly listen to how a new partner begins a new life after a divorce.

Step number 2. Do not hysterical

Many people make a mistake when the passages ring in a drunken state and begin to make unfounded claims. It is important to remember forever, a divorce has already happened, reproaches have been made, no need to go back to the past, no matter how much you want to. You will do worse for yourself, remember past insults and relive past disagreements. Also, do not call your partner, silently into the phone, wanting to hear his voice.

Step number 3. Do not analyze what happened

If you have difficulty controlling emotions, let them out. Turn on the shower, scream and cry. Beat the pillow, bite it. Jump to loud music, do not close.Talk to yourself, nostalize for the past days. As soon as you cope with the feelings, leave them in the past. Wash, exhale, set yourself up for a new and happy life.

Do not save the negative in yourself, it is better to experience what happened 1 time than to suffer every day. Look for advantages in everything that happens. Global change brings with it something bright, difficulties will soon recede. Focus on the main thing: take care of the children, build a career, devote a lot of time to yourself.

Now there is no need to get up at 6 am to gather the faithful to work. There will be no more compulsory fulfillment of “marital debt”. From now on, everything depends on you: get comfortable on the couch, watch your favorite movies, read books. Live for yourself.

No need to delve into yourself and analyze words, actions, actions. Live in the present, the divorce has already happened. Tune in to a positive wave, let go of the past with each new day.

Step number 4. Change the situation

Comprehend what is happening and take a breath. If possible, change the situation, go for permanent residence in another city.The Council is extremely relevant in cases where two people live in a small village where you have to see each other's faces every day. Never try to catch your beloved one’s eyes.

In cases where the possibility of changing the city is missing, create a cozy bachelor nest. Make repairs in the apartment, rearrange the furniture, hang bright paintings and curtains.

Step number 5. Travel

For a time, forget that you recently went through a divorce. Think about yourself, what would you like at the moment? An excellent option would be an excursion abroad or a tour to a ski resort. In this case, it is not necessary to choose such places of recreation in which you will engage in self-flagellation, looking at the cute couple by the pool.

It is important to score every day of the tour to the outset, so that there is no free time to think. Swim with scuba, swim with dolphins, order a beautiful photo shoot on the Cote d'Azur or the small streets of Europe.

Try to exhaust yourself physically; when you come home, you should fall down and not think about divorce. Consider cultural monuments and world sights for days on end,then in exhausted condition, go to a room or a cozy cafe around the corner. Feel like a real tourist!

Important!
At the time of the travel voucher discard electronic communication methods. Turn off the phone, do not look through the mail, do not go to social networks. Enjoy peace and tranquility, relax. Include cheerful music, completely abandon tearful songs.

Step number 6. Get rid of real memories

Collect the items of the former partner in the box, distribute them to your friends, burn them or throw them into the trash can. In cases where the divorce was painful, you should not leave memorabilia, such as a gold pendant with engraving, beautiful shells with a cute inscription "I love you!" And so on. Yes, it is a pity to part with such things, but in the future you will be happy to make a similar move.

Truly valuable items (relic) should be carefully packed and stored in a distant box, so that they do not come across to you. Gold, donated by a former gentleman, deposit in a jewelry store or pawnshop. You can exchange them for new products or pick up the money.

Do not watch movies that were once watched together. Refuse to go to the cinema or restaurant where your partner has invited you before. Free your subconscious, do not let the mind whisper "Remember how good we were here." Wait out this storm and more bright moments are waiting for you ahead.

Step number 7. Watch yourself

Often you can hear the dictum, which says that a girl after a divorce, only prettier. Start from this context. Take care of yourself, go for a manicure, pedicure, give a new shape to your eyebrows. Change the image drastically, change hair, repaint hair. Follow the wardrobe, sift out everything that sits imperfectly. Buy a perfume that will fit you perfectly.

Turn life upside down: change jobs, find a fascinating hobby that will take up all your free time. You might even want to do a facelift or lip augmentation, see the budget. Do something that you could not decide to marry, do not deny yourself anything.

Step number 8. Connect with the opposite sex

Laugh, have fun, accept the invitation to the cinema or theater, fill the spiritual void with positive emotions. If on this path you will meet a really decent man, why not try? Love comes when it is not expected. Take risks, do not put all on the same comb.

Of course, this recommendation will seem embarrassing to all men of women, and this is not surprising. It is quite possible that you are not yet ready for an innocent flirtation or serious intentions on the part of gentlemen. Work on your own mind, do not negate life because of the unsuccessful marriage.

What not to do

1. Appreciate yourself, do not try to return the spouse by humiliating your own "I". Do not blame yourself for all mortal sins, let go of the past.
2. Do not overshadow the mind with alcohol, do not go "all serious"having sex with every nice man. Wait for time, take care, but do not rush to jump into bed.
3. Learn to appreciate loneliness. Spend time alone with yourself, think positively, tune in for the future. Include fiery music, do regular cleaning and exercise.
4. If you are sentimental ladies, try changing your normal behavior. Do not constantly cry, look fear in the eyes: what worries you? When you find the answer to this question, eliminate the problem completely.

To start a new life after a divorce, it is necessary to root the image of a free lady in the head. Do not be afraid of changes, all the best happens unexpectedly. Rehabilitation must begin with an inner attitude, otherwise all efforts will be in vain.

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