How to survive the betrayal of her husband: the advice of a psychologist

You began to notice that the husband often talks on the phone, he receives SMS, he hangs up on social networks, spends a lot of time not with you, but in the company of friends. This behavior suggests the idea that a loved one has started an affair on the side and is cheating on you.

When you are convinced of this, you begin to think what to do next. Kill, forgive, drive, revenge - you can do a lot of stupid things in a fit of anger. But psychologists offer a completely different way out of the situation, which will help preserve the nerves, health and relationships with her husband.

Why do men change

A woman will never understand why a man can change if he loves. This happens because the strong and the weaker sex have radically different views on life.Women are created to keep home, to be faithful to their family, and men are born conquerors who need to conquer new heights in order to stay on top.

Statistics say that 99 men out of 100 are capable of treason, 75 of them at least once were wrong to their halves, and 50 consider it the norm. Therefore, it is rather easier to accept than to fight with the male nature.

Causes of male adultery:

1. Men do not invest any meaning in sex, for them it is a way of relaxation and a natural need. Someone needs him more, someone less, hence the relationship on the side.
2. Women think that they are not betrayed, but just as men are confident that they are not caught. Some close their eyes, while others use it.
3. The man just does not love you. If he does not value marriage, then he does not try to hide what changes.
4. A man can change from boredom, being in search of new adventures and sensations.
5. Sex on the side can happen, because there will be an opportunity and there will be a girl who agrees to it.

Yes, from the point of view of women, men are selfish animals, but nothing can be done about nature.You can only change your attitude to this situation and get out of it with your head held high.

Signs of treason

But before you blame your soulmate for treason, you need to have proof. Otherwise, you will be considered hysterical, and the relationship will end.

What signs indicate a betrayal of a husband:

1. Change in behavior. New acquaintances always leave a mark on speech, manners and habits.
2. If a man changes, he has to lie. But a lie is a difficult skill and not everyone masters it. If events, dates and trivia do not converge in his stories, then he may have an affair on the side.
3. A man requires you to change intimate life. He yearns for new experiments, wants to change your appearance and behavior.
4. Suddenly, the attention and courtesy from the husband shows that he is trying to divert attention from other things.
5. When the husband begins to ask you to cook unusual dishes, although he was always delighted with homemade borscht, someone indulges him with delicacies on the side.

Remember that someday the truth will unfold. So think before you start trying on the role of a detective and look for clues.It is worth such a game of your time and nerves or not.

What if your husband cheated on you

If all the evidence on the face, and the husband did not find excuses against your arguments, then it's time to think about how to live. Most women enter this event into a stupor, and they start to panic, because they do not know what to do next.

It is this fear that inhibits the desire to expose and the wife closes her eyes to the behavior of her husband. It threatens a nervous breakdown and loss of self-confidence. In any case, the situation will have to be resolved, and the sooner this happens, the better for both of you.

Also, psychologists advise not to make scandals and tantrums. It is best to wait out time and calm down. And talking to her husband and making decisions should be on a cold head. In a fit of feelings, you can tell your spouse hurtful and unfair words, hurt his feelings and then regret it. Every man is worthy of forgiveness, especially if he loves you. All people tend to stumble, but then repent of their deeds.

Ideally, you need to part for some period of time and put all your thoughts on the shelves. Separation will help to understand how much you need a loved one, whether to maintain relationships and how to behave further. Besides, this is an excuse to make her husband worry.

Do I need to forgive treason

For a woman, forgive treason means showing your weakness and softness. They think that they indulge their men in such a way and push them to more terrible acts. But to forgive is not to admit treason again. It is necessary to clearly define the boundaries and not to violate them.

Forgiveness is needed, first of all, you, not your husband. There are several important reasons that prove this:

• Lurking resentment does not allow you to move forward.
• For the nervous system is a heavy stress to store and perceive negative information.
• The inability to forgive the mistakes of close people will not allow building strong and trusting relationships.
• Resentment causes a decrease in immunity and the appearance of disease.
• Resentment makes you a weak person, unable to withstand the difficulties.
• Holding a grudge against one person, you will no longer be able to trust others, constantly comparing them to each other.
• Only wise women can forgive, be so no matter what.

If you want to talk to someone, then let it be not your husband, but a close friend, sister or mother. It is useful to go to a psychologist who will help to look at the situation from the outside and understand that nothing terrible has happened.

Do I need to get divorced after treason

Having learned about the betrayal of her husband, the first thing that comes to a woman’s head is to apply for a divorce. But think, you need another blow, if you have not recovered from the first. Divorce is a serious step, after which it will be difficult to correct the consequences.

It's one thing when you quarrel, disperse into rooms, but after a few days you decide to make peace. Quite another, to delete a loved one from life forever. Even if he made a mistake, you promised to be with him in grief and joy. Marriage in order and is to support each other, and not to quit because of any reason. If you forgive treason and re-trust your soulmate, the relationship will move to a new level and become stronger.

In any case, to solve this issue should not be alone, the husband must necessarily participate in this. Listen to his position, suddenly it turns out that a fleeting affair meant nothing to him, and now he understood how dear you are to him.

But it also happens that trust does not return, and it becomes hard for you to live with your loved one. Or it does not change and continues to walk to the side. Such things can only be understood after some time after treason.And the conclusion here is disappointing - you have to file for divorce.

How to regain self-confidence

The woman who was betrayed by her husband needs comfort and support. The first thing she does is blame herself on the situation. She says that she was not as beautiful as before, she stopped caring for herself, paying attention to her husband.

But it is not. You just got used to each other, you live together and there is no point in front of each other to swagger. Understand that you are a decent woman and wife, help simple daily exercises:

1. Pay attention to the men. Nothing will raise the self-esteem of the girl, as compliments and courtship of the opposite sex.
2. Write down all your virtues on a sheet of paper and re-read them every day.
3. Set goals and achieve them. If you want to lose weight, set a certain date and number of kilograms, which will be reset by that moment.
4. Do not envy anyone.
5. Become better not by anyone, but by yourself.
6. Take care of yourself. Beauty needs to be maintained in any case.
7. Dress nicely. Clothing should not be expensive, but emphasize your worthiness.
8. Find yourself a hobby.Coloring by numbers, embroidery, cooking courses - it's the little things that will distract you from negative thoughts. And when you see the result, you will be pleasantly surprised.

Treason for a woman is a difficult event that not everyone can survive alone. If you caught your beloved "in the act", then do not keep emotions in yourself. Trust your close people who see the situation from the outside and help you make the right decision.

Video: how to start living after betrayal