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There is no ideal method of raising children. Kids, like adults, are different. Some are calm and thoughtful, others are active and overly curious. The third is capricious and disobedient, and the fourth is closed and silent. Only the mother knows the nature of the child, and it is she who chooses the techniques and tips that work and help her develop the baby. Psychologists and educators can only suggest how to act is not necessary to protect the fragile child psyche from injury.
Mom, do not swear
Physical punishment has long been out of fashion. Kids can be stubborn and slow, they drop something or scatter them, making mom nervous and angry, but petty mischief is not a reason for slapping on the bottom. The belt is a beautiful accessory that is not intended for raising children. As rods, skipping rope and other devices for torture.
Anger is thrown out in the gym or on the forums for mummies, where parents complain of fatigue and naughty babies. In real life, conflict situations with a child are resolved by talking and civilized punishments:
- A boycott that lasts 20-30 minutes.
- A chair for thought, from which it is forbidden to get up until time runs out.
- Deprivation of favorite toys: dinosaurs and dolls are stolen from young children, phones and tablets from teenagers.
It is impossible to allow the child everything in the world and to approve his bad behavior, but it is not recommended to shout for small mistakes. Kids with whom they speak exclusively on raised voices grow nervous and reticent. It is difficult for such children to get rid of low self-esteem and fear of doing something wrong.
Moms are ordinary people, not robots, so they have a breakdown. Shouted, slapped and sent to the corner? It is not scary if later a woman cools down, calms down and asks the baby for forgiveness for his bad behavior.
I myself
Children who can walk can self-serve or even help their mother. They are trying to sweep, wash dishes, make the bed, eat and dress without parents.Tensioning the right shoe on the left foot, breaking several plates and spreading garbage throughout the house, but that's okay. They learn to be independent, and the task of the mother is not to hinder, but to prompt and help unnoticed.
You can not protect children from domestic work. The son offered to wash the plates after a family dinner so that mom could relax? Give him a sponge and show where the sink is. Daughter decided to make a bookshelf? Do not prohibit, but provide with boards, nails and all necessary.
Preschoolers are able to make the bed and put their toys in place, bake pies under her mother's guidance and walk the dog. Teens can earn money by carrying newspapers and helping retirees. And it is not scary if a child from an early age became independent. We need to rejoice, and not be afraid that he will not have a childhood.
Babies who are overseen too much grow up infantile and lazy. They are not in a hurry to look for work and move out from their parents, to achieve something in adulthood. Forty-year-old men and women go to the doctor by the hand with their mother, remain lonely and miserable.
Curiosity is not a vice
How does a child know this world? Asking questions.He wonders why birds fly so high, how fish live under water, and where it came from. Children's curiosity must be satisfied. Tell, show examples, conduct experiments and look for answers together. If mom or dad does not know how the plane is arranged, it does not matter. At hand, they have the Internet, smart books and the magic phrase: "Let's see together."
You can talk on any topic with a child, even “adults”, but carefully choose words. There is no need to replace the names of the genitals with “pistils” and “bells”. But it’s enough for a five-year-old child to know that children appear only in adults who have fallen in love and exchanged physiological fluids. Teenagers also recommended to talk in detail about the process of fertilization, sex and other nuances.
One of the main mistakes of parents is to dismiss or aggressively respond to children's questions. Gradually, the child loses interest in the world and understands that mom and dad will not satisfy his need for knowledge. He ceases to trust adults, looking for support from peers or other people, to whom he will later come for advice if he has problems.
Talking with children, parents are getting closer. They turn into friends and mentors, with whom you can share secrets and experiences, ask strange and exciting questions and not be afraid that you will be condemned or not understood. Children should be curious, because thanks to this feature they become geniuses.
Young talents
Mothers once dreamed of becoming ballet dancers or singers, and fathers wanted to score a penalty or send an opponent in a knockdown with one hit. Adults try to make models and footballers out of children if they themselves could not master this profession. But children do not always share the interests of their parents. Sons want to dance, and daughters stubbornly bite chemistry and cross potted flowers.
Being different is not against the law. You do not need to record a child in violin lessons, if he likes astronomy or drawing more. Children have their own preferences, which should be considered and developed. Give them colored pencils, musical instruments or karate uniform. Encourage any initiatives and rejoice if the child has managed to take second or third place.
And if the baby does not like to draw and knock on the drum, do not be upset. Perhaps he will become a businessman or music critic, a famous engineer, or open his own restaurant.
Golden children
Pasha has a tablet, Seryozha bought a radio-controlled helicopter, and Masha was presented with gold earrings. Parents try to make their children look as good as neighbors, and they buy expensive toys for five-year-olds and schoolchildren. You can spoil the child, but moderately.
The computer of the latest model will not make him happy. Yes, children enjoy luxury gifts, but then they demand more and complain that parents do not pay them attention. Smartphones and jewelry will not make kids happy.
Parents should ask themselves the question, what moments from childhood do they remember? Buying a tape recorder and jeans? Or a trip to the mountains with your parents? A bonfire in nature, when dad taught to fish, and mom showed how to cook a tasty fish soup or make a fire?
Children need the impression and feeling of a fairy tale. Memories of how they sculpted a snowman with their parents, got chocolates from a bunny and waited for Santa Claus. How marshmallows roasted and slept in tents.As for the first time they fell out of a bicycle, and mom smeared the broken knees with green paint, and dad blew so that he wouldn’t be inflamed.
Yes, children sometimes want to look as good as classmates, boast with fashionable phones and trips to Egypt. But if you indulge in all the whims, the child will grow up spoiled and unprepared for real life, where you need to earn what you want with hard work, and not ask your mom and dad.
Socialization
You can not lock the child in the four walls. Communicating with peers or older children, he learns the rules of behavior in a team. Develops communication skills that will be useful to him in later life. Gradually eliminates shyness and finds friends.
It is not necessary to give the child to the kindergarten, because there are playgrounds and other mothers who will happily go for a joint walk. You can organize holidays and invite friends of your baby, take him to the sections and development centers.
The child will join the society, where he will be in contact with bad and good people. A child from 3–4 years old is explained that one should not be silent or just stand and cry while he is being offended.It is better to repel hooligans or too arrogant persons who take away his toys. At the same time, the child is explained that it is very bad to offend weak children and animals. They need protection and care. They share toys and sweets with them, help to build sand castles and solve math.
Active children can easily find a common language with strangers. So that the baby does not have trouble, the mother talks about evil uncles and aunts. They cheat kids, and then they hurt them. Smart guys never take toys and candy from strangers, but always run away home or call other adults if the bad guys try to drag them away.
Preventive conversations will protect the life of the baby and teach him to be careful, because the mother will not be able to constantly watch and protect him from everything in the world.
Small adults
Children are smart and quickly learn new information. They can be serious and reasonable, they know how to plan and dream. You need to talk to a child like an adult. To be interested in opinion, to discuss family problems. Teach your baby to take responsibility for their own actions. If he wanted a dog, and his parents gave him a puppy, then the young owner is obliged to walk and feed the animal, bathe and clean up after the pet.Does the child need a phone? Let him collect money donated for his birthday and other holidays, postpones and plans his budget, looking for part-time jobs.
At the same time, parents cannot forbid children to do something, using the argument: “You are still small.” The child is equal to either an adult and intelligent family member, or to a foolish and non-self-sufficient, but also acts accordingly.
No criticism
Some children reveal their potential under the barrage of condemnation and criticism, but such units. The rest simply make two or three attempts, and then give up the dream, because my mother considers it bad and impracticable.
Real hero
Kids imitate parents, schoolchildren and teenagers copy only some character traits.For a child to understand what is good and wisdom, fortitude and the desire for the best, adults must become for him an example of all positive qualities.
Moms and dads are recommended to develop and never stop. Do not sit on the couch in anticipation of something, but move forward. Demonstrate to your children that everything is possible in the world, if you very much want and work hard.
Small children are like soft clay, which in the right hands will turn into a beautiful vase. It depends on the parents what the child will become: confident and purposeful or scared and infantile. Under the influence of mom and dad his life priorities and character are formed. They, like all ordinary people, can make mistakes and experiment, but the main thing is to do it with love.
Video: how to raise a child
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