How to learn to hold back and not scream at the child

Rare mother boasts an iron calm. Only in the series you can see the ideal family, beautiful and successful parents. In fact, each of us several times in her life was broken at the child. Simply, it is not customary to discuss it among friends and relatives.

Do not be ashamed of their negative qualities, the longer we hide the problem, the more difficult it is to solve it. If you feel that you have crossed the bounds of rational and cannot control emotions, you will be able to share the best way out with someone close to you.

What makes the cry

Every mother wants to raise an ideal child whom she will be proud of in old age. But not always wishes come true. Often the child behaves whimsically, does not obey the elders, deceives or acts contrary to parental orders. As in such a situation, do not break and do not yell at the baby.

But in most cases a son or daughter is not guilty - they are children, they are moved by interest, and sometimes greed and self-interest. In this case, it would be more correct to explain that doing so is ugly and wrong, then it will turn out badly.

But tiredness, stress and irritability make moms and dads just scare the child with a cry so that he would rather calm down. Of course, this is easier, but soon you will reap the rewards of your upbringing.

What are the main reasons that make parents raise their voices. Here are the most common cases:

1. Fatigue after work day or household duties. This is especially pronounced in the evening, when there is no desire except to rest;
2. Cold, fatigue, other diseases. These causes cause disruptions in the nervous system, it becomes impossible to control yourself;
3. State of stress. If you have recently experienced a great loss, you have encountered unforeseen sad circumstances, the disobedience of children can overflow the cup of patience at the wrong time;
4. Displacement of your negative emotions received at work, in the store, on the street or in transport.Very often we break into the most close and dear ones, and then we regret about it;
5. As a child, you were also raised with a cry. Of course, you did not like this behavior of parents, but it is already embedded in the person.

Some of these factors are temporary and after the black band in life passes, you will calm down and stop yelling at the children. But what to do with deeper psychological causes. We'll have to spend a lot of time and effort to eliminate them. Therefore, before raising your voice for a small child, think about what this will lead to in the future.

How the child perceives a cry

Imagine that a person who is twice as tall is looking at you, while he begins to frantically shout and call you insulting words. What feelings arise at this moment. The desire to correct the error and continue to behave better? Of course not. You experience a terrible fear and begin to defend yourself, speak any words, only to keep this “giant” silent.

Now imagine yourself as a child who has not yet strengthened the psyche, the nervous system is not formed and he does not know how to protect himself.The fear that the baby experiences at the moment of scream remains forever in his subconscious. The only thing he can do is cry from resentment and fear.

With such tactics you will never achieve a decent upbringing of the future generation, but spoil the childhood of a child.

What are the consequences of screaming at the child:

• you will lose your credibility as a parent, you will not have proper respect;
• you can damage the psyche of the child, make it withdrawn and indecisive;
• you will lower the child’s self-esteem, he will never achieve what he wants;
• you provoke a child to other bad deeds;
• in the future, the baby will continue your upbringing tactics and pass it on to his children, and those to his grandchildren, and so on.

The most important thing to understand is the absolute futility of screams and threats. They do not give you any result, except dissatisfaction with incontinence and guilt towards the child. Has he finished messing around, taking prohibited items or making faces? No, but I lost my trust, and you feel it. Therefore, it is time for action.

How to quickly calm down - sly tips

If you have a desire to yell at the child, then chase him away.Until you learn to control yourself, the behavior of the baby will not change. Therefore, once again, before approaching the baby, take one of the actions described below to enter a state of rest and soberly assess the situation.

Ways to quickly calm down:

1. Go to another room where there is no one. And "take out" your discontent on any object: a pillow, a newspaper, dishes. So the negative will not be directed at a loved one, but at an inanimate object that cannot be offended or frightened.
2. Imagine that there is someone nearby. You do not allow to shout at the child in a public place or on a visit. This technique will moderate your ardor and bring the mind to consciousness.
3. Look at yourself as an outsider. How do you react to the situation you see? Of course, you will begin to blame the careless mother for improper upbringing.
4. Forget you scream at your child. Try to abstract and imagine that this is an alien baby. You will yell at him in such a situation. Most likely no.
5. Remember how you were hurt when mom or dad shouted at you. How much anger and fear you felt at that moment.Your child is no different and thinks the same bad thoughts about you.
6. Agree with the child that every time you raise your voice to him, he will talk about it. Come up with a special word or gesture. And do not forget to praise the kid that he stopped on time. Such an agreement will help the child to feel its importance, to give confidence and get closer to you.

These tips may seem silly, but they always work. Therefore, do not delay your decision on the back burner and start transforming right now.

Learning to live without crying

There is still a long work to be done before you learn to control emotions and not disrupt anger on a close person. To eradicate this bad habit, you will have to not only change in appearance, but also change and correct something inside you.

Take time to rest
Constant fatigue and monotony of family life make it difficult to control emotions, so breakdowns often occur in young mothers. Since the child is mostly near, the negative goes to him.

The output will be the help of loved ones. Share with your husband the duties of the house, ask the parents to pick up the child for the weekend.Spend time yourself. Go to a beauty salon, watch a movie that was not strong enough, meet up with friends, do what you love or just walk. Begin to arrange a "weekend" a few times a month and you will notice how easy it will be to communicate with your loved ones.

Talk to the baby
How often do you tell your baby you love him. It is very important for young children to know that they are needed by their parents, that, despite disobedience, no one is going to leave them. Therefore, do not skimp on the gentle words, and your child will become obedient and meek.

Accept yourself for who you are.
As mentioned earlier, we copy the model of education from our parents, and in most cases we do not even suspect it. Take it for granted and move on.This attitude will help not to repeat their mistakes and avoid pressure in the family.

Every child deserves to be loved. Make your baby's childhood happy and carefree. Show him an example of calmness and balance, then he will be able to achieve the heights he dreams of, and he will not be disturbed by childish offenses and fears.

Video: how not to shout at the child