How to woo a bride parents groom

Modern young people, intending to get married, often think about interesting wedding traditions. Many arrange a magnificent engagement before the wedding, and some go even further and arrange matchmaking. The purpose of this ritual is quite simple - the bridegroom asks the bride's parents for permission to marry her.

A few centuries ago, it was a rather serious event, because it was often the only way girls learned about the intentions of guys. Now it is a symbolic ceremony, allowing parents of young people to meet and solve all the issues with the wedding. And for the bride and groom - these are pleasant memories for many years of married life.

Wedding customs

Wedding customs in Russia were a great many and often they differed from each other. Even in the two neighboring villages there could be differences and superstitions related to the creation of a new family.And only basic customs, which the Russian people adhered to for many centuries, have survived.

1. In Russia, matchmaking has always been held as magnificently as the wedding itself.
2. Parents of the groom rarely spoke matchmakers, they were present only as guests. And the matchmakers were intermediaries who not only matchmakers of the young, but often looked for the bridegroom for the bridegroom. In this case, he saw her for the first time, only coming to woo.
3. As for the guests, then a lot of people attended the matchmaking. It was also a tradition to invite the most important people.
4. The entire ritual was conducted strictly according to the rules that could not be changed. For example, the matchmakers would bring the bench hammers, and the bride never sat at the table with the guests.
5. Matchmaking was not just a beautiful rite, so at that time the issue with the wedding was actually resolved. And often the matchmakers came to the bride’s house several times, since it was impossible to agree on everything in one visit.
6. Compulsory were various monetary contests, which were invented by the bridesmaids. The groom must have been involved in them.
7. It did not go without gifts, and the matchmakers gave them not only to the bride and her parents, but also to other relatives and girlfriends.
8. As for the bride, she could easily demonstrate her attitude to the groom with the help of a broom. If she began to sweep the floor in the direction of the stove, it means that she treats the young man positively. If the chalk to the door, then expelled matchmakers.
9. During the feast, the bride had to change her best outfits several times. Often brides tried to show off their skills, for example, embroidery.
10. The bridegroom at matchmaking could easily be refused. As a sign of this, the bride presented him with a certain object that symbolized it. Often it was a pumpkin or watermelon.
11. After the conversation, the matchmakers and the groom went outside and discussed the bride. At this time, her mother presented a glass of drink to a young man. If he drank the drink to the bottom, then the wedding will take place. If, however, returned back, only sip, it means that he refuses to marry.
12. If the girl was an enviable bride, then the matchmakers could not get an answer to their offer. Then they could come again. Often, the bride's parents, without initially giving any answer, could visit the groom and see what he offered to their daughter.

Tradition and Superstition

Conducting a modern ceremony is often dependent on the day the wedding is scheduled. Previously, in Russia, woo went mainly in the fall, after harvesting. At the same time, matchmaking was almost always unexpected. And there were a lot of signs that allowed us to pick the best date. It was also believed that matchmaking would be successful if it came after sunset.

You should not woo on Friday or Wednesday. And it is better to avoid the 13th, as it was not considered good to conduct a ceremony on that day. It is better to come to the bride's house in the first half of the month, and 3, 5, 7 and 9 numbers are considered ideal dates for this. In any case, it is customary to negotiate the arrival of matchmakers in advance.

A huge number of other superstitions is connected with matchmaking in Russia. For example, the groom on this day should not meet and communicate with other people. Before entering the house of the bride, the young man necessarily touched his shoulder to the doorjamb and only then knocked on the door. And the matchmakers slammed the door three times, baptized the image, and only then began to speak.

Interestingly, our ancestors believed that touching the wooden objects was a success during matchmaking. Sitting at the table, the matchmakers tried from time to time to touch the table leg.In the case of the consent of the bride's parents for the wedding, they went around the table three times.

How is the matchmaking now

There is no definite matchmaking scenario, so much depends on the fantasy of the matchmakers. It is not necessary for the groom's parents to perform this function; it is better to invite a professional matchmaker. Nevertheless, there are rules that should be followed if there is a desire to observe all traditions.

1. The matchmakers should start the conversation with the phrase “You have the goods, we are a merchant” and then praise the groom in front of the bride’s parents. At this time, the girl's parents in a comic form doubt his merits and praise their daughter. The whole conversation takes place in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. The bride does not participate in the conversation, since at this time she is hiding in her room.
2. Matchmakers must convince that their fiance is the best. When this happens, negotiations begin at the table. At this time, the wedding is discussed young, etc.
3. The groom with matchmakers presents gifts to the bride's parents. It can be symbolic flowers and small souvenirs. Be sure to give the flowers and the bride herself. At the same time, the issue with gifts must be approached seriously, without forgetting about the gift for the test.
4. There is no need to make a solemn event with a large number of guests out of matchmaking. It was taken earlier, but now it is rather a small family event. Do not organize a meeting in a restaurant. Enough to cook some treats.
5. If you wish, you can add ancient customs. Matchmakers can bring embroidered towel, etc.
6. The "inspection" of the bride by the matchmakers also occurs in a joking manner. But here it is important not to cross the line and not to offend the girl, trying to bring down the price of "ransom".

Is it possible to be married without parents

If the parents of the groom for some reason cannot come to matchmaking, the young man will have to do everything on his own. And therefore it is important not to lose sight of all the little things that can spoil this important event.

1. Going to woo, the groom must warn the bride and her family about it. Coming unexpectedly in this case is a bad form. And of course, you should take care of your appearance. It is not necessary to come in a tuxedo, but sportswear will not work either.
2. Picking up bouquets for the bride and her mother, you need to try to avoid strong contrast. The bouquet of the girl should be tender and beautiful, and the future mother-in-law should be a bit more modest,but more refined.
3. In addition to flowers, the groom can take care of food. Enough bottles of wine or champagne, as well as sweets. Having come into the house, it is better not to show them, so as not to demonstrate confidence that they will accept him.
4. If there are no matchmakers, the groom must prepare his speech in advance. You do not need to talk about your feelings for the bride. It is important to talk about yourself, convincing future relatives that he is the best contender for the hand of their daughter.
5. But we should not take this too seriously, because the modern bride and groom decide for themselves about the wedding. Therefore, to praise yourself better in a joking manner, not forgetting that this is still a symbolic ritual.
6. In no case do not need to calm down before alcohol matchmaking. Even if relations with future relatives have long been established. This is not the case when you can behave in this way.
7. If the groom's parents were not in matchmaking, the bride with him should pay them a visit. In this case, it is useful to also take care of gifts to future mother-in-law and father-in-law. If you wish, you can go on a visit together with your own parents.

It is not necessary to arrange a celebration only for the "tick", since it has long been optional. But if there is a desire to introduce their parents in such an interesting way, then matchmaking is ideal.

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